Preparing for Common June Family Activities

June is filled with anniversary parties, birthdays, and graduations. This economy has made many of us consider our budgets for gift-giving so here are some ideas to save you money:

1. Prepare a small budget for each family activity. For instance, a total budget of $200.00 may be your desired amount for all family activites.
2. Buy multiple items for the same low costs. Think notepads, calculators, and appointment books.
3. Create small gift baskets for each person instead of purchasing large gifts.

Relationships and Neighbors

It is the time of holiday celebrations so it is important to consider your neighbors when you plan parties, have overnight guests, or go on vacation.

Party Planning:

-If possible, forewarn the neighbors without being boostful. For instance, you can say that your extended family is coming on this Saturday at X time so it may be a little noisy. Thus, your neighbor(s) will not feel left out and appreciate the early warning.

Overnight Guests (A week or more):

-Some of your guest will leave the same evening but for the guest will be around for several days or more, let them know where to park in the neighborhood and speak with them about noise control.

Going on Vacation:

-Let trusted neighbors know about your plans so they will notice Mr. Plumber parking in your driveway when you are two thousand miles away for 2 weeks.

Actually, these ideas can work throughout the year.

Relationships (Children)

Are you late in the morning trying to get your children ready? Do you wonder if the clock was turned back on purpose? As a mother with a chronic disease/disorder it can be trying to get your child/children ready when your own energy levels are low. Depending on the ages of your child/children they may be able to help in the morning. Actually, it starts in the evening after your child's bedtime. When I was young the following is what my parents did based on their time and what my adult nephew and adult niece do now:

If you have 10 exta minutes you may want to try:

• Place their favorite cereal, bowl, and spoon on the kitchen table.
• Keep the milk/the juice at eye level so he/she can reach them in the morning.
• Provide a choice of two to three fruits (perhaps an apple, an orange, and a banana).

If you have 20 extra minutes you may want to include:

• Leave two to three outfits for the morning.
• Check his/her alarm clock.
• Write down if he/she need to clean bedroom, organize shelves, or toys.
• If you can find 30 extra minutes (smile since not everyone can), here are a few options:
• Review his/her schoolwork-homework-activity folder for needed signatures.
• Check his/her homework especially if he/she has been having school problems.
• Decide if there is a central location within your apartment/home to keep backpacks/coats/umbrellas/shoes-if can save time.

If you have a two-parent household, the above is easier since your mate can cover you when you are not feeling well. However, if you a single parent, it is more important since your disease/disorder may cause more fatigue/pain in the morning.

Relationships (Family)

I realize that I have not posted to my blog since September 2, 2008 when my maternal aunt died. Unfortunately, my paternal uncle died on September 7, 2008 so my family was dealing with a number of emotions. I realized that I needed time to think and regroup and I appreciate your patience.

Relationships (family)

Today at approximately 9am est. my Aunt RuthElaine died so please accept my apologies for any ramblings. It was strange because I was literally scanning this channel concerning Relationships & Family and I was thinking about general article ideas/subjects such as how to have a family reunion, welcoming a foster child, or learning to say I love you. The shock of her death made me leave this computer for a few hours to connect with family/friends, speak with one of her surviving seven children, and reflect on her brief 64 years. Also, I took a few minutes to listen to the noisy children playing in the street, tolerate the nearby construction and hear the constant local traffic as blessings not burdens since she not here to enjoy the same. I could only speak with her daughter for minutes because I knew that I could break down and wail without pause at my aunt's loss. Trying to imagine days filled without her musical voice, her laughter, or her words of wisdom. The main words of wisdom I recalled was back in 1997 when my mom/her sister died and we were at the funeral home. I was trying to stay calm during the last viewing of my mom's remains and she saw my distress. Like a good aunt, she touched my shaking shoulder and said, "Cherrine, your mom probably would have left us several months earlier but she knew that she had you and your family (father/sisters/nieces/nephews) to care for her so it gave her the strength to remain with us." Looking into my cocoa brown eyes brimming with tears, she continued, "We were able to say our goodbyes without regrets." These words allowed me to maintain the strength for the remaining evening. It is because of her wisdom and character that I am able to write this article. I am not a social worker, a licensed mental health therapist, or a physician but I am qualified as a grieving family member to give hints for how you can minimize your regrets after your own loss. First, do not fight about silly things such as a ripped inexpensive jacket, stop calling the person for years, then wonder why the heck you fought. I can not count the conversations I have with people who have not spoken for 5 to 10 years but can not tell you why. Also, stop comparing your children/young family members about who is more beautiful, more athletic, or smarter. The same way we loss older people we loss young people. Do you want to be at your young cousin's funeral remembering hateful comments made to him/her. Next, keep cell phone/landline/e-mail/fax/physical addresses current and make a deal with yourself review it once a month. One of my surviving aunts/her sister asked for contact information and I barely had any. I was embarassed since there are too many ways to connect. Last, stop waiting for other folks to give family/friend updates and reach out yourself. Starting today, make an appointment on your calendar/to do list to email/phone/visit/write a few people and start with the older, less healthy members. If you are worried about his/her current health issue, just talk on the phone for a few minutes then visit later. Honestly, we are creatures of habit but If you do one of the above we will be better for it. As I leave you today, do me a favor. Listen to the birds, watch a good sitcom, or enjoy the sunset because you can.

Relationships (Neighbors)

Its a beautiful, warm Sunday evening as I write this post. Yesterday, our neighborhood held it 1st annual block party and the street was filled with dozens of babies, small children, teenagers, and adults. There were trays of hotdogs, hamburgers, steaks, salads, seafood, candy, cookies, cakes, juices and water. The children were treated to mini games of volley ball, skating, skateboarding, bicycling, and amusement park-type rides but the best thing: no fighting, kicking, or cussing.

We were able to get together as neighbors yesterday so I feel that we should be able to maintain the same unity on other days. Do not get me wrong may neighbors tend to be good by helping each other with snow removal, watching homes for vacationing neighbors, and maintaining our homes. On the other hand, some neighborhoods are always filled with turmoil (daily fights and shootings). If you live in such a neighborhood, look deep inside yourself and think of ways to improve it one day at a time.